"Friends to Lovers Forever, Lovers to Friends Never."

It started out with a simple hello

And you asked would you go to the dance

With a fellow

Like me

Looked around as I got butterflies

Stomach twist and twirled

How could this happen to a girl

Like me

It didn't begin with a once upon a time

It just began when two hearts were in twine

I thought of you, and you thought of me

With you my heart felt free

And with no idea of the future

We just held on to life

And flew away...

We were higher than the heavens above

And though neither of us called it love

We both knew inside

But as time moved on

I couldn't help but drown

We became lost and never found

All of the memories

I'll lock them with a key

Because even if the people change

At least the good times will stay the same

We were higher than the heavens above

And though neither of us called it love

We both knew inside

And I can't help but look back

To realize the simple fact

That we will never be the same

I hope you don't regret

The times you held my hand

But the clock is ticking

And I can't keep on wishing

That some day we might have a happy end.

JV Soccer 2011: Be As One, Play As One

"Love the game. Love the game for the pure joy of accomplishment. Love the game for everything it can teach you about yourself. Love the game for the feeling of belonging to a group endeavoring to do its best. Love the game for being involved in a team whose members can't wait to see you do your best. Love the game for the challenge of working harder than you ever have at something and then harder than that. Love the game because it takes all team members to give it life. Love the game because at its best, the game tradition will include your contributions. Love the game because you belong to a long line of fine athletes who love it."

"I'm a high school player. I'm a team player. I play with my friends and with some who aren't my best of friends, but I respect everyone when it comes to my sport. I know I'm not going to get a multi-million dollar contract to play professionally. I know I may not even get my name in the paper. I play for love of the game. For the pride and honor, for the blood, sweat and tears it takes to make the team, to earn the spot, to win the game. I play because I can, I play because I know that my life would be empty without this sport. I would have a lack of everything my sport gives me: integrity, courage, talent, fearlessness, pride, strength, stamina, will, and the heart of a champion. If I didn't play, I would lose a part of me. I'm an athlete. I'm a girl. I'm a champion, not because my team always wins, but because when we don't, we learn from our mistakes. We try to fix them, and most of all because we have fun. I have built lifelong friendships and memories because of being an athlete. I leave everything on the field and continue to push myself. I am never happy with second place, but I have learned to accept it. I have learned to get over it and through my anger be the athlete and player I have always dreamed of being. I don't play for my parents, for my family, for my friends; I don't play for my coach or my teachers or my school. I play for myself but when I'm playing I represent them. It isn't about winning or losing, but I hate to lose. I won't settle for a tie, and I am not satisfied with 100%. To play, you have to sacrifice everything, your body, your time, your sweat, blood, and tears, everything - for the team. I know what it is like to lose, to win, to want to quit, to want to cry, to not want to get up. I know what it is like to hear the cheers and yells for you. I know what it is like to feel the pressure of everyone on your shoulders, and I know what it is like to choke under that pressure. I know what it means to be an athlete and that is why I play. I am an ATHLETE, a CHAMPION, and a TRUE PLAYER."

Beautiful Memories, Uncertain Present, Hopeful Future

When I see you, all I want to do is burst out in tears
Why can't we just go back to how we were?
You've built up these walls of insincerity, and you won't let me in
I try to stop thinking about it, but it's virtually impossible
I can't erase all the beautiful memories we had

Your eyes -- the way you looked at me; the way we laughed
Every moment with you was magic; something new and exciting
You got to me and when we were together my heart would melt
The care, the encouragement, the friendship, the spark
And now I just get to look back
Thinking only about the enchanting moments

The present is uncertain
Sometimes you smile, wave, or even speak
What do I do then?
What do I think?
Even though I've accepted that it's over
That notice in the hall can make or break my day
I wish I could tell you how I felt,
How I feel now
Wondering if you'd even care
Was this beautiful past a blessing, or simply a curse?

The questions filled my mind
As I dreamt of a hopeful future
Would you ever change?
Were things ever really real?
And the thoughts keep me waiting
Keep me wanting
I lie in bed and cry
Wishing you'd come back
I was lucky, I really was, to have had you then
Too bad it's all disappeared

I wish you would of held on tighter
I wish you would of cared more
But what used to be is done
And the could haves, the would haves keep me holding on
If I could just have one more day

I never wanted this chapter to end,
But someone better will come along
Someone who won't make me hurt
Won't make me cry
Won't make me feel unsure

I think of you more than you can imagine
But I need to be done
If you come back,
I might be here

You will always have a place in my heart
But that void I now have
Will be filled with better things
Hope, Life, Love

The beautiful memories are irreplaceable
The uncertain present is almost over
And the hopeful future is for more than just you
But for a love that lasts,
A love that makes me feel wonderful,
More so than I had with you
More so than I can ever imagine

A Walk to Remember

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. ~Mohandas Gandhi

Walking my dog one night, I saw this quote on the bumper sticker of a car; I wondered for a while about what it would mean. Thinking and referring to my bible, I realized that this is plainly stating the concept that God is flawless and man is not. Ironically, this has a lot to do with the novel we recently read: The Power and the Glory. People have so many imperfections and can push others away by their actions. On the other hand, Christ pulls so many people towards him because of his perfection. Although men accomplish many great things, the Lord is ruler of all creation and is much more powerful than human kind. He draws sinful people towards Him because He is the ideal vision. I believe that Gandhi is referring to the immense disparity between man and Christ: one is faultless and the other is the opposite. Human beings can be so greedy, egotistical and boorish while their Christ is full of love and grace. Gandhi is sharing his opinion on the necessary difference between Christians and their Christ. In reality, most Christians are aware of their faults and therefore depend on God's forgiveness to live a healthy life.

Nature's Touch

Please, oh, nature
Touch me with your beauty
Fill my lungs with fresh air
My nose with the scent of wildflowers

Please, oh, nature
Capture me with your beauty
Mesmerize my eyes with glistening water
My white skin with the scorching sun

Please, oh, nature
Make my mind wander with your beauty
Release my emotions with the serenity of the wind
My anxieties with the therapy of silence

Please, oh, nature
Take me with your beauty
And never let me go

Hidden Truth

a poetic response to the novel, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

Hidden in the mind
Covered by the myths
A boy with a reputation
Yet a boy with potential
He is analytical
Systematic
Logical
Yet viewed from the world
He is troubled
Different
Atypical
He questions many things
Yet understands much more

Our world, our generation
So extremely judgmental
When something's not right
Unusual
Curious
It appears imperfect
Unworthy
Disgraceful
But hidden under the myths
We find the truth

And so we have this boy
With a vast facade
Because he dislikes yellow
And hates to be touched
But under the mask
Is a human with a mind
Feelings
Integrity

The Mestizo: Another Judas

a response to The Power and the Glory

In the story of the passion, Jesus admits to one of his disciples that he will soon betray him. The man is Judas, Judas Iscariot, and immediately after hearing the news of Jesus' crucifixion, he was overwhelmed with pride and turned his master in for only three silver coins. Such a cheap trade, for such a powerful and forgiving man. Jesus was a savior, a redeemer, a rescuer and for only a small price, was turned in to the authorities, who then, in order to fulfill scripture, crucified him.

This is a similar event to one in, The Power and the Glory, a parallel novel to the passion. While a whiskey priest is escaping to Carmen, his home town, he comes upon a mestizo. He is sick with a fever but cannot help noticing the priest's "priest-like" features. The priest, representing Christ, realizes the horrible condition that the mestizo is in and allows him to tag along on his journey. “This was the pride, devilish pride, lying here offering his shirt to the man who wanted to betray him. Even his attempts at escape had been half-hearted because of his pride – the sin by which the angels fell.” (95) This quote is a turning point in the priest's life. He has just told a poor sick man that he is a fugitive priest and that the reward of five hundred pesos is still on the line for the man who turns him in. The mestizo says that he would never turn the priest in, but the priest is aware that he is in the presence of Judas, the betrayer.

The Mindset of a Mother

Author's Note - This is a poetic response to the novel, The Bean Trees. When Taylor Greer -- a young adult who has just taken on her independent life -- decides to drive away from her hometown, in search of a new beginning, she is struck with a whole new world: motherhood. The already big change of moving away has just been made tougher, with the new responsibility of caring for a child. She is confused and this poem digs deeper into her mind; what exactly was going through her head during this time?

How can I take on
Yet another responsibility
Of a small human life
When I was just given my own

Brand new to this world
My eyes have barely opened
When another is introduced
The world of motherhood
I was just the child
Now I have to care for one
I just left my mother
Now I have to be one

I am supposed to love this child
Like my own flesh and blood
But how can I do that?
When, truly, she is not

Confusion fills my brain
I am full of questions
What makes a good mother?
Do I have what it takes?

I look into the child's eyes
Beautiful and full of youth
Her gentle hands
Rub against my face
She deserves better
But then again,
I am the only chance she has
And she may be the chance I need

Right now I feel nothing
Maybe I will soon?
All I can do
Is love her
Hold her tight
And never let her go

True Identity

a response to The Bean Trees
There are many people in this world who choose to hide under a mask in order to keep themselves from reality. For some, this is because they are unhappy with the person they’ve become but for others, they feel worthless and find no reward in revealing themselves. In the novel, The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver, the concept of true identity comes into play; this book is filled with characters who keep their true persona hidden. They do this in order to maintain a decent reputation, when underneath, they are actually hurt, alone and confused. Kingsolver is trying to warn us about the dangers of living an isolated life.

Imagine if the whole world were hidden under one huge cloak; we would never be able to recognize people by their true identity. Despite the pain it may bring, people have to learn to openly express themselves. By exposing yourself, the door that allows others to help you, is unlocked. This is a well-learned lesson by one of the main characters, Taylor Greer, when she meets another young mom, Lou Ann. They were both hidden away -- trying not to let anyone know they were troubled -- but when the met each other, these women honestly discuss their lives in the most sincere way. Lou Ann and Taylor released theirs masks and because of this, they were able to rescue one another from their buried lives. True identity is nothing to hide. If you are unhappy with the person you are, holding on to your agony is not the right thing to do. Do not be afraid to show yourself to the world, to reveal yourself, to cry for help. You never know, the answer to your call may be a rescue.