Monday, February 6, 2012

Funny Isn't It?

Funny isn't it? How your life can go from one spontaneous moment full of smiles and laughter to an over complicated vision that sails you back to square one. Back to the days when you thought you had it all figured out. The days when you told yourself, "Yes, I am doing the right thing," but then when you think about it, you never really had a clue. You realize that life hands you random spurts of joy to kick you in the face and say, "Ha, you thought you had something good, didn't you?" Because suddenly, just when you're about to reach out and grab it, it disperses out of thin air and you are left alone....again. I guess what I am trying to say is, nothing is ever just right. It's either an inch away, or as far off as some tropical island you've really only ever seen in your dreams. Sometimes you can sense it, feeling it's embrace like a warm hug -- like a soft kiss on the cheek, but you can never quite get a finger on it. Or you can simply watch it from a distance, perhaps from the back row of the movie theater. But the reality is, harsh or not, you will never truly get that beautiful, surround sound, high definition image of "perfection."

It gets hard to sit around every day, longing for that moment when everything clicks and you're finally happy. Hoping, wanting, wishing, desiring...and for what? Prince charming to come swooping through your window? Your fairy godmother to come rescue you and wipe away all your tears ? Or maybe a genie to stop by your house and grant you three wishes? Although hypothetically this is not actually what we do, is it not? We constantly find ourselves unhappy with the current situation and all we want is for our lives to magically transform into the latest love movie we saw, the last book we read, or the most recent dream we've had.

But something is very wrong with all of this -- which I, myself, am a victim of. Instead of envisioning perfection, we need to create it. Granted, perfection does not exist, but what does exist is our mind's ability to see beyond the imperfections. We cannot wait around for happiness to come to us, because it's not worth the wait; we need to go out with a humble heart and seize every moment of every day -- creating the life we want to live. Now, this is much easier said than done because struggling to put aside all the hurt and pain of life is often difficult, but it's a choice. We can either hold on to our past, letting it barricade the road to a better future, or we can release all of our anger, all of our sadness, and with open eyes grasp on to the idea that everything is going to be okay...if we really want it to.

Nothing will ever be quite like the films; that's why they are meant to be watched and not lived. But we can create our own movies, our own stories -- with tests and trails, heartbreak and love -- that will not only build a plot, but build a character...a character that we can be proud of. So, "fall in love or fall in hate. Get inspired or be depressed. Ace a test or flunk a class. Speak the truth or lie and cheat. Dance on tables or sit in the corner. Forgive yourself and forgive others. Life is divine chaos. Embrace it. Breathe. And enjoy the ride."

1 comment:

  1. Girl, I could not have said this better myself. Looking back, I can honestly say that there are very few "perfect moments." My life hasn't been perfect. Not by ANY means! But there are snapshots I keep with me, tucked away in my heart, that I cherish as perfect gems. Walking down the aisle...not because of all the fanfare and expectations, but because I saw my soon to be husband, at the end of the red carpet, BEAMING. That was priceless. Then , the birth of Morgan. I absolutely cannot capture the words to describe the wash of warmth I felt when we locked eyes for the first time. I can still feel it now...
    There are so many other "perfect moments," but in terms of percentage of my life? MAYBE 5%. That's not to say that the rest is awful. There are happy moments, bland moments, funny moments, angry moments, frustrated moments, short-sighted moments, heartache moments, happy moments, frightened moments, and all the rest. But "perfect?" Gosh, those are so fleeting. Like you said, vapor. Vanished. Poof.
    So don't sit around waiting for perfect. It doesn't exist. The moments occur when you least expect them, especially when you finally decide to let go of Hollywood's idea of perfect and just love life for what it is. We are all imperfect, and that's the beauty of it. Our flaws and strengths make us who we are. Our friends and the people we love are in our lives for a reason, and the best that any of us can do is forgive and remember that we aren't perfect, either, so sometimes it is better to just step back, relinquish to a higher power, and see past the drama that is the immediate in favor of the love that is the big picture. Everything will be okay...

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