Creating an image
That transforms your mind
Confuses your eyes
It appears
That you can go on forever
Impossible
There are walls
To stop you
From believing in something
Unreachable
From the outside
You can go on
But surely
There is no beyond
Everything in life
Comes to an end
This one ends in a dream
A dream to keep going
Even when there is a wall
Taylor,
ReplyDeleteI liked how you mixed up the length of your lines, it made the meaning of some of them really stick out. Next time I think you could use less information in the poem, be a little bit more subtle and let the reader think for themselves a little bit. Besides that, I love the meaning and the layout!
-Karen
I love it! I like how you talked about it being a dream that can't be stopped by the wall. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting poem. It has a real serious tone, going into some thoughtful areas, and then brings up the idea of dreams. I am a little confused, and intrigued at the same time. In the beginning, the lights symbolized a hope for me, but then you take that away with the walls, and mentioning dreams as unreachable. I guess in the end I didn't know if you wanted me to feel the limitations, or hopes. Bottom line though, is it sure made me think.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment Mr. J. When I write poems, a lot of times I get comments that talk about "leave some information out so you can leave the reader thinking." So that is what I tried with this poem! I was a little worried that I had a some confusion when I wrote this poem, but I dont know?? Maybe you can help me try to make it sound better. Thanks :)
ReplyDeleteGreat job:) i loved this poem a lot. I could really relate to what you were trying to say about this picture. After going into that room in the museum i know exactly what you mean. It feels like it goes on forever and there is nothing to stop you from going forward.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your poem Taylor!! I enyode the picture because it helped me really "get into" the poem.
ReplyDelete