From the outsideThey are popular
Friendly
And amusing
They want you
Say they need you
They make you feel right
But when you come
To an obstacle
A bump in the road
They leave you
Abandon you
They make you feel small
This is the time
When your true friends
Your loyal friends
Play their role in the scene
They support you
Sustain you
And they carry you through
But those who left
Left you alone
When you were down on your luck
Seemed sociable
Enjoyable
Laughable at first
But on the inside
They are cold
Cool as ice
OHMYGOSH!! That was amazing.. I totally understand what your talking about and I almost started crying. Brings back memories of some heart to heart conversations. I'll always be here for you.. I know you would say the same. Great Job! <3
ReplyDeleteLiv
That is really good Taylor. Like Liv, I totally know what you're talking about. Just a suggestion, but you might want to be a little less obvious if you want the reader to go away thinking about it. Otherwise, great job!
ReplyDeleteThis is an excellent poem, but I don't really think the picture of the icicle fits. Also, the context and message of this poem is great, though you might want to say less and give the reader something to think about. I think it's cool that you write about things that are actually going on in our world today, and say it just as it is.
ReplyDeleteTaylor,
ReplyDeleteI really like the title of the poem, it totally relates to what you're trying to say. I think that sometimes you could've said less stuff and been more subtle, so the reader could've thought for themselves. Otherise great poem, I love it!
-Karen
Thanks for the comment Lian. I agree with you, I was a little worried that the picture didnt really fit. Do you have any suggestions on what picture I should place with the poem? Let me know. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI really like this poem. The main reason why I liked it is because it is something that happens in all of our lives. Another thing that I really liked about it is that you made the end of the poem the same as your title which makes it seem like this as a constant cycle, which is true. However, I do agree that you didn't give the reader much to think about. Overall, excellent poem.
ReplyDeleteI also really like this poem. I especially like the last line - I like how you played the pun on "cool". I also agree that you should give the reader more to think about, but again, this is a great poem.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really good poem, I really like the topic, the layout, and especially the picture. good job!
ReplyDeleteHey T,
ReplyDeleteI really liked that poem, and the picture looks awesome and really goes with it.
~ Taylor Bell
Hey Bell!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment....what is your blog address?? I'd love to check it out :)