Tears fall down
The cheeks of friends and family
Happy tears of congratulations
Sad tears of letting go
To the girl that used to play dolls
And dress up like a princess
But no longer is she young
She's grown older
She's fallen in love
A group of people sit around
To witness a celebration of love
They feel the slight breeze
The vineyard scent fills their bodies
She walks down the isle
Hand in hand with her father
She used to call him hero
But a new hero has entered her life
She's found a soul mate
She's found a companion
Slowly she walks towards him
Nerves cause his hands to shake
He takes in her beauty
I do, I do
They both say with confidence
The rest of their lives
Laid out in front of them
With those few, but special words
The bells ring
The lovers lips meet
A kiss they will never forget
Together they will be
For the rest of their lives
A beautiful event
For a beautiful couple
Who will live a beautiful life
People cheer and clap
This is it
A young girl
All grown up
She has dreamed of this day
Her whole life
The couple retreats
Hands united
Her veil blows in the wind
The sparkles in her dress
Twinkle in the sun
She looks like a princess
Like the ones she used to dress up as
Riding off with Prince Charming
Into the sunset
A beautiful thing
This thing called a wedding
Just a few hours
Representing an entire life time
Forever and always
This poem is bittersweet. I really like how you end it. Also, the picture you posted fits very nicely. Awesome work!
ReplyDeleteThis is really good! I love how even the stanzas don't have a pattern, some of them sound like they do. I also like all the description in this poem. Great job!
ReplyDeleteGreat job Taylor! I love the last words, they describe this special event perfectly. Something that you could try is after the line "The sparkles in her dress" you could tab the next line to show that it goes together with the one above it.
ReplyDeleteI love this a lot Taylor! i love how you talked about how the girl is grown up and she has a new hero. The only sugggestion that I have is maybe change you vocabulary a little, because it seemed like you used the word beautiful a lot. Other than that it was a great peom. The length was good too.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment Emma. The reason I used beautiful more than once was to creat repetition :)
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this poem. The way you wrote the lines so that they effortlessly flow -- gently like a breeze -- and then end with such a serious, meaningful thought. As far as any criticism goes, I would use even more economy in writing; try to isolate any words that could be seen as unnecessary, and edit them out. See what's left after that, and piece it back together.
ReplyDeleteTaylor great job! I loved reading this, I got chills again:) You're such a good writer and your thoughts are so orderly and clear. You touched on a lot of great points. You covered fathers, true love, sadness, joy, everything! The only thing that I would correct is in the 5th stanza where you repeat the "together idea" two times in a row. I think you only need that in their once, since you already have repetition with the "beautiful" idea. Otherwise fantastic job T!!! <3
ReplyDeleteWow Taylor this is an ahmazing peom!!!! It touched my heart when I read it. I liked it how you described the moment of getting married! Nice Job!
ReplyDelete